Then God blessed us with this baby without having to go through the process of further infertility treatments…and boy was my mom surprised!  Sorry for the bad quality video. Alex was secretly shooting on his iPhone in a dimly lit room. Also, it’s very quiet…until my mom finally realizes what I was trying to say, then you might want to lower your volume quickly:)

I am the worst at keeping my own secrets, so I was extremely relieved when I finally spilled the beans to my mom.  I knew she would be so excited!

When it finally got to the point where we were ready to tell the rest of the world, this is how we decided to share the news:

I am just beyond thankful for everyone around us who prayed for us, prayed with us, and just showed up support during such a tough time.

A friend asked me if I would go back and change anything if I could–meaning, would I go through infertility again if I had the choice, knowing the outcome we have now.

I had to think about that one really hard, because truth be told, it sucked.  It was heart-breaking, lonely, and full of fear.  Although I did learn a lot through the process of infertility, I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.  I wouldn’t choose that path again.  If the path chooses me again, though, the greatest thing I learned was to keep my eyes off of my troubles and turn them to God.  Once my focus was where it should have been the entire time, I had such a huge peace about whatever would happen.

Alex and I had a massive fight Monday night over absolutely nothing.  I think I got mad at him because he said he wasn’t mad at me.  Makes sense, right?

Monday night was also the last night I had to take the dreadful Prometrium (progesterone) that will make me start my cycle so I can FINALLY go back to the doctor and get my blood work going and other imagine tests done.

So today I was at work and had just finished lunch while I was waiting for the next patient to show up for his appointment.  I had a brief flashback to the night before when I thought I felt a little…off.  Nothing crazy, but just slightly off.  I decided now would be as good of a time as any to just take yet another pregnancy test.  So off to the bathroom I go….pee…dip the stick…WHAT?! Uhhh…is that the control line?  No, THAT’S the control line!  What’s that other line?  Oh my gosh…it’s positive.  It’s positive.  It’s positive.

I washed my hands as fast as I could, ran back in to my office and immediately called my doctor at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA):  “Umm, hi.  This is Emily Morrison.  I finished taking all my Prometrium pills a couple of days ago, then I took a home pregnancy test today…and, um, it’s positive.”  The sweet nurse on the other line sounded hesitant, but also happy.  I’m sure they get many people with positive pregnancy tests that just don’t always make it to full term, so I appreciated and understood her reserved manner.  “Well Emily, we’ll want to bring you in to do a blood test.  Can you come in tomorrow or Friday?”

“Can I come right now?” I immediately shot back.  “I can leave work this very second and be there in 30 minutes.”

The nurse quickly agreed and said to come on in.  Whew!  There’s no way I could have waited an entire DAY to get the blood work done!  I immediately called my manager and kindly asked her to take over for the last patient because something urgent came up and I just needed to get out of there ASAP.  She kindly agreed and I rushed my butt across town to RBA in 30 minutes flat.

Blood was drawn but it wouldn’t be resulted until tomorrow afternoon.  Shoot!

Okay, well now I need to figure out how I’m going to tell my husband!  I drove my silly self to Atlantic Station since it’s was the closest shopping I could think of, and searched that place for a cute newborn baby outfit.  Maybe that’s how I could tell Alex that we’re pregnant!  Well, apparently Atlantic Station has no stores with baby clothes.  Except for Old Navy that is…but there picks were very slim. Next stop, IKEA!  Maybe I could get something nursery related!  That could be fun! Nope, I left empty handed.

I’m in such shock that I just don’t know what to do, so I just drive home.  I sit.  I wait.  I want to call Alex and tell him to come home early, but then again maybe not.  I don’t want to give any sign that something is up.  But honestly, pregnancy was the last thing on either of our minds because it was “impossible”.

I got sick of waiting and kept questioning myself…”Emily, are you sure you did the test right?”  Never mind the fact that when I worked in the ER I did a bajillion identical tests every single shift.  But I doubted myself with my own.  So I did what any logical person would do, I decided to take another!  One difference between a normal person and someone who battles infertility is the number of pregnancy tests that they keep on hand at all times.  See, I buy mine off Amazon.  They’re the simple clinical kind, not digital or anything fancy, so they’re really cheap.  I decided to grab a handful of the tests, 14 to be exact, and dip them all at the same time.  That was all I needed…14 tests that all clearly read positive.

Yeah, I’m terrified.  I’m happy.  I’m scared.  I know we’ve been trying for this for quite a while now, but what did we just get ourselves in to?!?!

Alex just got home!  I don’t know how I’m going to tell him!!!

to be continued…

As soon as I heard the garage door open on Wednesday afternoon my heart just jumped.  Alex would have no clue what he was about to be told.  He came in the door and greeted the hyper dog as usual.  I was just sitting on the couch doing nothing.  As soon as I see him my face breaks out in to the cheesiest grin that I couldn’t wipe off no matter how hard I tried.  “Babe, come sit down beside me” I said grinning like a fool. “Come on, come sit down.  I want to talk.”  His face reflects that he’s suspicious about something, but he was thinking that I was about to tell him that I just bought something expensive and needed to confess. “Heyyyy…so, I’m pregnant.”

Eloquent, I know. Although it did remind me of when he first asked me out: “So, uhhhh, you wanna date?” HAHAHA!  I still can hear his nervous voice saying it as he was trying to play it off as cool.  I guess we’re both not the most eloquent of communicators when we’re nervous!

His face didn’t smile.  It didn’t move.  “What?” he asked.  “I”m pregnant” I repeated.  “No you’re not.” he insisted.  So I went on to tell him the story of my day and showed him all 14 pregnancy tests that I took.  We were in straight shock.  How? When? How?  (okay folks, not technically “how”…we got that part down thank you very much, but more of “How?  We didn’t think this was even possible!”  Okay, thanks…just needed to clarify that.)

We went to RBA today for our first ultra sound.  I guess I should mention that my blood work backed up my 14 home tests.  My HCG was pretty high so Dr. Brahma was guessing that I was around 5 weeks. The ultrasound went just as hoped and everything is just as it should be at 5 weeks!  Hooray for a yolk sac!  That’s such a gross name.  So there’s a little sesame seed in me and it’s making me sleepy!

We are just so shocked and so happy.  Our goal is to be cautiously optimistic, but it’s certainly difficult to not go straight in to pure freak-out happiness.

The next step is to go in for another ultrasound next Monday.  We should be able to hear a heart beat by then!

I now have a million things in my head that need to be done to our house before this baby comes.  Or as Alex puts it: “You’re going to nest really hard”.

The thing is, I LOVE the way floor to ceiling photo walls can look.  They tell a story.  They show your personality by what you put up.  They are unique to you.  But as I began thinking about our entryway I knew that another photo wall was the last thing this house needs.  Thus began my brainstorm for ways to have visual interest on a wall without the use of photos/frames/art.

Here is what our entry looks like as of this morning.  Excuse the poor quality pics…they’re straight off my phone.

That table and mirror were both freebies from various locations.  I can’t wait to change them out!

This was the first area in the entire house that I decided to paint, and from the second I painted it I’ve loathed my color and sheen choice.  But I have to admit, I secretly love it as well because it is the best example of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned about home remodeling.

I love that throwback picture.  That wallpaper was hands down the EASIEST in the entire house to remove (thank God!).  It was very thick paper that was already loose and practically fell off once I applied the magic potion to it.

So back to how the entry way is now–empty, naked, & shiny.  The only thing on the walls is the sign that we had made for our wedding.

Other than that there’s just the supposed to be gray, but really it’s blueish-purple SEMI-GLOSS paint.  What was I thinking?  Obviously I didn’t know that semi-gloss really shouldn’t go on walls.  Especially walls with imperfections.  The light coming in from outside bounces off the glossy wall and makes the worst reflection.

So after much browsing and brainstorming I found some great options to add interest to the wall without adding a bajillion picture frames.  Here are some examples of what I’m contemplating doing.

Light. Chairs. Desk from craigslist. Rug. Curtains.

The only thing I need to get is art or photos for the frames.  Oh, and the frames. I found some beautiful botanical prints you can download for free from Honey & Fitz, but I’m not so sure they’ll work in the masculine office. I’d love a bunch of black and white architectural sketches, but I’ll just keep my eye out for some prints at a good deal.

I hope this weekend will be productive around the house…buuuuut Alex and I are both sick.  On Valentine’s Day.  It’s a pretty scary site.  We may or may not have had blue box mac n cheese and ginger ale for our romantic vday date. Sexy sexy. Speaking of sexy, you should hear my sexy man voice I have going on right now.  I know, it’s hot.