When I started WhatEmilyDoes, my idea was to just write about what I do in my free time. That has turned in to a blog that’s 99% about our home, because, well…that’s pretty much how I spend my time. Home decorating is my favorite hobby after all. And while I still put a lot of energy towards it, if I’m going to be honest and transparent here I have to admit that it’s not where all of my energy has been focused lately.
I’m not completely sure why I’m putting this out there and I am crazy nervous in doing so, but I think that by sharing this huge part of what’s a focus in my life right now I can be free to write about whatever I want to, not JUST my current home project. I would also hope that someone who reads this might benefit in some way.
Here we go.
INFERTILITY. That’s the word that has taken over my world for the past year.
The short story is that Alex and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year. We knew something was wrong a couple months after I got off birth control and that’s when I first went to the doctor. Months went by, many tests were done, and the conclusion was “unexplained inferitlity”. Awesome. Nothing better than being told that something is wrong, but unfortunately we just don’t know what.
My OB/GYN put me on some fertility medications called Clomid. I did three cycles of this drug and still there was no pregnancy. Each month that went by led to increased fear inside of me. As best I tried to not get my hopes up of seeing a + on the test, it was impossible to not have a glimpse of hope. After the 3rd round of Clomid and a negative pregnancy test we were referred out from my OB/GYN to a fertility specialist at Reproductive Biology Associates in Atlanta (RBA).
Our very first appointment was this past Wednesday and it couldn’t have gone any better. Here’s a little of what I wrote to my closest family and friends about the visit:
On the drive to Atlanta this morning I began to feel anxious again. I began to feel nervous. I didn’t want the radio on and I didn’t even want to talk. Once Alex parked the car I felt the sting of tears. That all too familiar fear and anxiety crept up…I was just nervous about what the appointment could possibly hold.
We went back to meet Dr. Brahma and she couldn’t have been any sweeter! She was so nice and extremely easy to talk to. She never talked above me (although Alex said he nodded a lot because we talked “medical language”–oops) and proved herself to be extremely intelligent. And good news (to me!)–I didn’t cry at all!
I will be doing a lot of blood work over the next six weeks as well as a glucose tolerance test (GTT). The GTT will show if I have any insulin resistance, and if so it will be beneficial for me to be put on Metformin, which is usually used for those with diabetes, in combination with Clomid. My thyroid looked a little off to her as well, so that will be part of the blood testing as well.
After that they will do a test that shoots a dye in me that will show if my fallopian tubes are patent and it can also show the anatomy of my whole reproductive system and highlight any anatomical features that might be off. Dr. Brahma is expecting this test to come out completely normal, but it’s a necessary step to cover all the bases.
Most of the decisions for what will actually happen next are determined by what the tests show.
So that’s where we are now. The next couple of months will hold a bunch of testing and we’ll go from there.
I just have to say that God has been so, so sweet to me through this. Even during the times when I was simply mad at Him, He could handle it and just loved me anyways. I really think that at some point in 2013 I’ll be able to write a blog post announcing a pregnancy. Until then I’ll occasionally write updates as they come and I feel like it. At least by writing about it I can’t embarrass myself by breaking in to uncontrollable sobs in front of a group of a few friends and a few more strangers–yeah, that happened. It was horrifying. Oh well.